I am 19 years old and have been in college for 2 years now. My boyfriend (who my parents love) and I have been dating for a year now. He is from México so during holidays he goes there and I stay home. Last year we didn’t get to spend the holidays together and we had planned to this year. I told my mom back in September that I wanted to go to México for Christmas. She is just now telling me that she doesn’t want me to go because “Christmas is a time for family.” I had planned to go to my parents house for a week the go to México for 2 weeks and then back home for another week before school started. That isn’t good enough for her. She wants me home the whole time. I have been to México twice before during spring break and during the summer. So i didn’t think it would be this big of a deal. Please help..I need advice! I really don’t know what to do in this situation! Thanks 
i forgot to mention…my boyfriends family and i have a really good relationship and i havent seen them in 7 months and i really miss them!
How can I convince my mom to let me go away for Christmas?
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I think you should stay home. I know you have already planned on going to mexico, however Christmas is a family time. You can spend the whole year with your boyfriend but there are only so many holidays you can spend with ur family. If you two want to meet up why don’t you go down there after christmas for just a few days. I believe christmas is an important time to spend with your family.
Merry Christmas!!!
First of all, you need to make your mom realize that you are an adult. You have to reassure her that you are aware of the importance of family, but at some point you are going to get married or be in a long term relationship where you are required to make compromises. Your mom needs to let you be the mature person that you sound like you are
Your mom said it when she said “its a time for family”. Let her know that your boyfriend would like you to meet his family and that sharing the time during your Winter break between both families is what you’d really like to do. You didn’t mention who would be paying for you to go to Mexico, if you are, then let them know your itinerary and when they’ll have you at home. If you’re hoping/expecting them to pay then it’s going to be much more difficult to get your way.
You are nineteen years old. Make your decision tell your mother what you are going to do and why and tell her never to make you choose between family and your b/f, then go and spend the 2 weeks in Mexico and have a good time, your mother will survive this is just a power play on her part to try to force you to do what she wants you to do. Don’t give in.
This doesn’t have to be tough, but it all depends on how you handle it. I have two suggestions:
1) You’re 19. You’re an adult so technically that means the choice is yours. HOWEVER, if you are living with them, depending on them to support you, feed you, house you and pay for your college, then a large amount of respect is in order (as it always should be with your family) and you can’t just say you’re an adult and you’re going to do what you want. Consider one last time showing them an itinerary you’ve already researched and tell them without whining how much this really means to you. It’s worth a shot.
2) Respect your mother’s wishes and try to understand how hard it is for her to let you go, and I don’t mean to Mexico. You’re 19 and from now forward she’ll thank her lucky stars for every holiday she gets to have you home. Soon you’ll be moving on to a life of your own and that may mean moving away. She wants you to be with your family. So how about staying home for Christmas and flying out the next day? There will still be plenty of celebration in Mexico and you can be there for New Years instead.
I think you should go to Mexico, especially if you feel like this is the guy you want to be with. You are accommodating your mom by spending two of the four weeks with her. She had plenty of time to adjust to the idea of spending the holiday away from her. Your mom needs to get used to the idea that you’re grown and will soon be starting your own traditions. If you do go to Mexico make sure you call your mom on Christmas day. Good luck!
It is so hard for parents to let go, you know “empty nest syndrome.”
She doesn’t want the tradition to change, she really misses you also. She sees that you are about to make your own family, away from her and she’s trying to hold on as long as she can.
For her, it’s a life changing event (you being away for Christmas).
If you are in a serious relationship with your boyfriend, like you really expect to be married in the next couple of years – then go ahead and go to Mexico.
This year might be the start of your new Holiday Tradition.
Would he consider staying with you on Christmas? Two weeks with your parents, then two weeks with his parents?
Perhaps you could go to Mexico the day after Christmas. Your mom can have her little girl for Christmas and you spend the rest of the time with your boyfriend.
Or go directly to Mexico and arrive at your mom’s on the 24 or 25.
Until… you are completely out of your parents home and on your own paying your own way, you need to respect their wishes. If BF goes South after a while and leaves you North, you will regret not spending time with your family. They are not going to be around forever. BFs come and go. The first thing I see here is that you made plans and didn’t discuss them with your Mother. I think you probably already knew or at least suspected how she would feel about it. (Now didn’t you?…in September?) Your family has already allowed you to have two visits with him during the year. (Who paid for that?) If you were my daughter, you would not go to Mexico period! (even during the Summer) He would be free to visit your home, though. He is the suitor. You need to protect your reputation.
it is time for you to stand up to mom tell her you are going to mexico and that’s thats you aren’t a kid anymore and i don’t mean it is not nice to be with mom and family on christmas but you got a life of your own too don’t let her control you she will mope for a while but she will survive got to sit down with ma and talk about these things so you make it clear you will not be controlled i know they bring up “well its a tradition” these are famous words of parents who’s children are leaving the nest they want to put you on a guilt trip and so sentimental and the tears sometimes are thrown in to help their case i know because i am a parent but i didn’t try it because i know my son he loves me very much but he is going to do what he wants to and darn the tradition he says laughingly traditions are made to be broken and i hate to admit it but he is right he has a life to live to he involves me in a lot of it but some of it i have to step back so go on your trip like i say ma will survive
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